When toddlers attack

Friday, July 30, 2010

Ala... Moana... has everything.

How I spent my week
Or so went the jingle when I was a seven-year-old living in Honolulu of what I believe is still Hawai'i's largest mall.  This is relevant because I'm writing this from my room at the Ala Moana Hotel, which overlooks the mall's majestic Macy's parking lot.  I'm here for work, not fun, so I've spent nearly the whole week in my room, glued to this damned keyboard.  I've also been risking sodium poisoning stuffing myself on ahi poke (raw tuna... they sell it at Costco, who knew?), sai min (sorta like ramen), li hing mui (salted preserved plums, apparently an acquired taste that I acquired as a kid) and other foods from my childhood that are hard to find on the mainland.

The hotel is fine, though it wasn't my choice to stay here initially.  This the second time my coworkers and I have come to Honolulu, and it was one of my coworkers who first booked us here.  It was an ironic choice, as it turns out I have a long history with the Ala Moana.

When I was six or so, we were still living in Hilo on the Big Island.  For my spring break that year, my parents took me and a teenaged girl who lived a few houses away for a trip to the big city.  We stayed at the Ala Moana, which, it being Easter time, had pens set up in the mall's main corridors filled with live bunnies, and other delicate baby animals, perfect for children to torture.  I got to spend lots of time at the pool with Lori the babysitter and had my first vacation romance with another six-year-old, visiting from the mainland.

One funny thing, though:  my dad never took vacations.  We never went anywhere fun involving an overnight stay, all three, as a family.  My mom would take me for short trips, and my dad took us to live in places everyone else goes to holiday, but generally he was either working or horizontal on the sofa, reading. 

Years later, my mom told me what was behind our trip to Honolulu that year... it was so daddy could get a vasectomy.

So it's true, Ala Moana does have everything.  Even vasectomies.


  1. SAIMIN! I actually made some homemade Saimin a few weeks ago and it was a big hit with the girls. Mike B.s favorite is crab poké, and I miss my li hing mui. I also miss my 1000 year old duck egg...which I coerced my husband to try when we moved back to Honolulu...he still hasn't forgiven me for that one.

    Now...go get em and run over a few Mormons for me while you're at it...lol.

    Mike A.

  2. If I'd known, I would've sent you some, brah!

    Uh, li hing mui, that is. Not Mormons. Unless it's one of the hot ones from the Polynesian Cultural Center...

  3. Ilove you blog, so keep sharing with all of us.